Adventures in the Bathroom Stall at the Christian Bookstore

Tonight we received an awesome gift.  Two of our senior adult ladies asked if they could come watch our kids, while Rachel and I went on a date.  (Smart ladies to tag team the Hall kids.)  Then, to top it off, before we left they gave us a card with cash and a Barnes and Noble gift card from the senior adult Sunday School class.  This touched our hearts.  Church members, do not underestimate what a small token of appreciation can mean to your pastor.  I can tell you that little gesture meant a lot to us tonight.

So what does a pastor and his wife do on a hot date without the kids?  Go to the Christian bookstore of course!  (I know that is horribly lame, but Rachel had to to laminate some stuff for her classroom at school, and this was the best place to do it.)

While at said store, I had to use the facilities.  Once in the stall, I looked up and observed a fascinating art form I had never before encountered - Christian bathroom graffiti.  (Only in the Bible belt.)  Instead of curse words, phone numbers and lewd pictures, there were carved Scripture references, variations of "Jesus loves you," and even one riveting theological debate that went something like this...

"I love God."

"Oh yeah, then why do you vandalize bathroom stalls?"

"Like you just did?"

While I was pondering the deeper implications of this dialogue, I was interrupted from my thoughts by someone occupying the stall immediately next to mine.  As I was wondering what kind of heathen would violate the unspoken man code that you leave a courtesy stall in between, I looked down at the man's feet and saw toenail polish and polka-dot flip flops.


Could I have possibly gone in the wrong restroom?  I estimated the young lady to be 10 years old or so by the size of her feet.  I sat perfectly still, unsure of what to do, mindful of the article in today's newspaper that a man in the city had recently been arrested for lurking in women's restrooms.  I texted my wife.  She thought it was funny.  I did not.  I prayed the young lady wouldn't notice my  big, ugly man feet in my Redhead sandals.  A few moments later my hypothesis of her age was confirmed, as she sung happily along with the contemporary Christian song playing over the bathroom speakers in a sweet, little girl voice.

I sat perfectly still for what seemed an eternity.  Finally, she did her business and left, singing merrily all the way out the door.  I got up as quickly as I could and headed for the exit.  Was I in the wrong bathroom?  And then I remembered something...  When coming into the bathroom, the men's door and ladies door were side-by-side.  On the ladies door was a flyer for a Beth Moore event.  (Only in the Bible belt.)  I quickly and decisively chose the other door.  (No offense to Beth.)  Yes!

And then, there it was.  The most beautiful thing in all the world - the urinal.  Indisputable evidence.  I was in the right restroom!  Disaster averted.  The night was saved.

What adventures did the pastor and his wife have on the rest of their date?  Well let's just say it got a little crazy.  Rachel and I got ice cream at two different places.  (She got hers at Coldstone.  I got mine at Orange Leaf.)  What can I say?  That's how we roll.